7 Mistakes to Avoid When Setting Goals

7 Mistakes to Avoid When Setting Goals and Resolutions

Whelp, it's that time of year again. New Year's Resolutions were made, gyms are full, and "dry January" (giving up drinking) is a thing.

And then the resolutions are mostly forgotten.

The second Friday of January is called "Quitter's Day" for a reason.  Note:  Quitters Day this year is January 10th for those keeping score at home...

And only 6% of those who made resolutions will keep them.

So what's the problem here?

A few things!  Let's dive in.

The 7 Mistakes to Avoid When Setting Resolutions:

1. Too many resolutions are set.
   
   When I help my clients create long-term goals or intentions, I tell them "NO MORE THAN THREE".  Yes, sometimes I shout.
   More is not better. Just having one is enough.
   
   
2. They are not specific enough, measurable, or realistic.
   
   "Walking more" or "being more positive when things go wrong" is not specific enough.
   
   Walking 10,000 steps a day by February may not be realistic if you are currently the world record holder in the Couch Potato Olympics.
   
   And what does "being more positive" even mean?  How do you measure that?

   Here's how to be specific and measure with these two goals:
   
   - I will walk 5,000 steps every day by the end of the year.
   
   - I will notice when I am thinking of all the things that might go wrong - and then choose to focus on the positive instead.  I will feel less tension in my shoulders as a result.  Right now that tension is an 8 out of 10.  I will get that number down to a 5 (because 1 is not realistic right now) by the end of the year.
   
   HOT TIP:  If your goal is not something tangible, tune into your body.  Usually, there is a tension (back, shoulders), a clenching (jaws, stomach), or something else that you can use as a measuring stick:  How bad is that discomfort right now on a scale of 1-10?  Where do you want it to be?  By what date?

    

3. They are too big.
   
   Make it easy and break them down. Start small and work towards the bigger goal. You'll build confidence this way.
   If you want to walk 10,000 steps each day, perhaps make that 5,000 steps if you aren't used to walking that much.
   Start with 100 steps on the first day.  Then, add on a few steps every day or every week.
   
   
4. There is no support/accountability.
   
   Find support:  Have friends or family check in with you regularly, or enlist them to be a gym or grocery shopping buddy.
   Coaches, therapists, or spiritual advisors can also be a great part of your support team.
   Apps can also be great accountability buddies!  Finch, Habitica, Productive, and StickK are all great apps;  some are "gamified" to help you reach your goals; 
   
   
5. The resolutions focus on the negative.
   
   Focus on what you want, not what you don't want.
   Instead of "less sitting on the couch" or "being less negative", make your resolution to "walk more" or "be more positive" (and then get specific and measurable, see above!).
   
   
6. They are not meaningful.
   
   Connect your resolutions to your values and what is important to you. Examples:

   - I want to walk more so I can keep up with my kids.

   - I want to be more positive so I can get my blood pressure down so I feel better overall.
   
   

7. There's no self-awareness.
   
   Understand where you are *now*, and why you do the habits you do.

   What underlying feeling, emotion, or need causes you to start mindlessly scrolling on your phone instead of getting up and going for a walk?
   
   What are the results of that action?
   
   Be curious about your current habits. You have to know where you are right now if you want to go someplace else.
   
   

Final Thoughts on Resolutions and Goals

What are your thoughts on these 7 mistakes to avoid when setting goals and resolutions?

One last thing to consider when setting resolutions and goals is to be gentle and kind to yourself.  How would you speak to a friend or loved one?  Speak to yourself that way.

And if you miss a day, just start again the next day.  If you quit on January 10th, you can always start again on the 11th.

If you want to learn more about setting goals and creating long-lasting habits, I highly recommend James Clear's book Atomic Habits.  

And if you want to learn more about working with me to help you with your resolutions, check out this page.