Intentions for the New Year

Intentions for the new year! Do you have any?

With my 2023 Word Of The Year in mind, (which is ABUNDANCE, in case you missed that post) I wanted to share with you some common themes I see in my coaching conversations with clients.

I share these themes with the hope that, if you see yourself in one of the patterns below, you will  - well, #1:  be gentle with yourself.  And #2, create intentions for 2023 that align with YOU - not someone else.

For example:

If you are a go-getter and are very goal-oriented, why create an intention to keep your goals?  You're already doing that, it's your superpower!

If you are a creative type who loves getting lost in projects, why resolve to "be more creative"? 

If you love to be social and always try new things, what's the cost here?  What can you do to keep that side of you - while also turning more inward so you are less scattered?

In other words: challenge thyself, AND make it pertinent and personalized to you and any unhealthy patterns that may be present.

Intentions for the New Year

Here are some common themes I see in my coaching conversations (a very partial list, lol), intentions to consider, and "iffermations"/mantras for each theme.

(Iffirmations being "what if..." statements, which our bodies are more open to than just a blanket statement that we, deep down, do not believe is true.  Our bodies our smart, and iffermations allow space for possibility and can be more gentle than your standard model 72a affirmation.)

• We may have a loud "inner critic" and are hard on ourselves when mistakes are made (perfectionism, anyone?). This can lead to impatience and frustration - at ourselves as well as at others - for making mistakes or not following the rules properly. 
  INTENTION:  LET GO A TINY BIT.  Allow yourself to be messy.  Easier said than done, yes, but: what does it look like to let go and allow for imperfections..?
  MANTRA:  What if it's okay to make mistakes..?
  
  
• Sometimes we can be overly generous.  We give our time, energy, and resources - perhaps giving too much. And when our actions are not acknowledged or reciprocated by others, this can upset us - which can lead to feeling unworthy. 
  INTENTION: SAY "NO" MORE OFTEN. Would you still do it if the other person doesn't recognize your work? If there is no thanks, acknowledgment, etc - would you still say yes?  Learn how to say no.
  MANTRA:  What if I stop setting goals around others, and put myself first..?
  
  
• There are those among us who are workaholics (or "parent-a-holics"). We can be competitive and have that "need to succeed" drive, sometimes at the risk of compromising our close relationships or our own physical and mental health.  This can lead to exhaustion or burnout. 
  INTENTION:  UNPLUG. Put the computer and the phone down - or whatever tools of the trade you work with - especially when you are with family and friends.  Know that you are enough and don't need all of those achievements to be worthy.
  MANTRA:  What if I am complete and whole, regardless of my successes..?
  
  
• We may be overly sensitive, moody, or often feel sorry for ourselves and our current situation.  We may think we are "special snowflakes" and that no one else is dealing with what we are going through. This can cause feelings of being always unsatisfied with what is and always longing for something else. 
  INTENTION:  CREATE STRUCTURE.  A tiny bit of structure around sleep or diet; creating a simple calendar or doing a few things each day can be pure magic for creative types. Find a rhythm - one that works for YOU - and stick to it.
  MANTRA:  What if there is nothing missing within me, and I am whole just as I am..?
  
  
• We may find ourselves constantly over-planning every last detail.  We focus on worst-case scenarios (think "Debbie Downer") and can be suspicious of other people and situations.  This constant overthinking can cause worry and/or anxiety.
  INTENTION: MEDITATE.  While meditation is great for everyone, for those stuck in worry or anxiety, meditation is sooo helpful.  Doesn't have to be long or involved - just a few minutes a day, every day.  Consistency is key.  The Insight Timer app is great for guided meditations if that's your thing!
  MANTRA: What if I am able to trust myself..?
  
  
• Perhaps we are always going, always aiming to have fun and try new things.  We get easily distracted, unable to focus, and bounce around from job to job or relationship to relationship.  We can become bored or impulsive.
  INTENTION: SLOW DOWN.  Take the time to observe and reflect before focussing on the next project/event.  Journaling can be great; what did you notice yourself doing, thinking, and feeling during that activity?  What did you learn about yourself, if anything?
  MANTRA:  What if I am able to find true contentment in being present, here and now..? 
  
  
• We may be people pleasers and try to avoid conflict at all costs - which causes us to be stuck and not able to move forward. This can also lead to anger and resentment toward ourselves - and others. 
  INTENTION: VOICE YOUR OPINIONS and FOLLOW THROUGH despite temporary discomfort. Find someone to help you be accountable if needed!
  MANTRA:  What if it's OK to ASSERT myself..?  What if my voice matters..?

(Iffirmations being "what if..." statements, which our bodies are more open to than just a blanket statement that we, deep down, do not believe is true.  Our bodies our smart, iffermations allow space for "what if" and can be more gentle than your standard model 72a affirmation.)

So what are your Intentions for the New Year?

What do you think?  If you are setting goals or resolutions for yourself this year, how do the above patterns line up with those goals, if at all?

As always, I would love to hear your thoughts!

Sandy