Past, Present, Future Focused Personality Types

Past, present, or future-focused.  Which one do you think your personality is..?

I believe that every human tends to prefer one of the above.  However, we are usually not aware of which one it is.

When it comes to our relationships with others and how we move through the world, understanding this can be super helpful in navigating conversations as well as managing conflicts.

This orientation to time might also be described as moving away from another's energy (past), responding to another's energy (present), and being independent of another's energy (future).

Here are some thoughts on each personality type;  some or all points may apply:

Past (moving away from others).

• pulls up past emotions and reflect easily on emotions tied to past events
• pulls up past thoughts, ideas, and information easily
• may keep items from the past (think souvenirs, mementos, collections)
• tends to resort to their "inner life" for safety and comfort (and can excel at resting and relaxing!)
• may have a hard time moving forward and taking action (this doesn't mean these people are lazy, they just are not as productive as they could be regarding the important stuff)

Present (responding/reacting to others).

• can easily see what's right - or what needs to be fixed - in their environment (and other people)
• easily senses and responds to other's needs
• can be extremely loyal to others and can foster a sense of safety and security, may be very calm in a crisis
• tends to talk through things (sometimes a lot..!) and rely on rules/belief systems/someone else's thoughts instead of their own thoughts
• may get caught in unproductive thinking or "spinning" in the head, going down empty rabbit holes that lead nowhere

Future (being independent of others).

• can easily set goals and achieve them
• can easily reframe negative situations and move forward in a positive manner
• can easily lead or direct others
• high energy, may get intense or aggressive at times
• may have trouble accessing their emotions or may get frustrated when others are not as fast as they are when it comes to gettin'er done

Past, present, future-focused: Conflict time!

I have a friend who was going through a divorce.  He went to couples counseling with his wife for some time before the papers were signed - they really tried to make it work.

His wife found counseling extremely challenging - because it required a lot of thinking and feeling and processing past events.  Being someone who is independent and focused on the future and someone who always wants to move forward, these sessions were very hard for her!

On the other hand, my friend really enjoyed his time in counseling because he is comfortable diving into and reflecting on the past.

Another example:  If you have two present-focussed people, they might spend all of their time just talking: striving for perfection or problem-solving before problems even appear.  There is no action here, just lots of thinking, which can result in a lot of stagnant energy.

How well you communicate and work with others doesn't depend on your relationship to time.

The examples above isn't to say that people who don't have the same orientation to time can't be together.

How well you communicate with others and move through this world depends on your awareness of your own patterns and your willingness to grow and be challenged - despite what is most comfortable for you.

Someone who is past-focused might be a great match for someone who is future-focused because they have the potential to encourage that future-focused person to rest.  And the future-focussed person might encourage their past-focused partner to take action. The energy becomes balanced.

And those two folks who are present-focused, while they take their time figuring things out, when they do take action they will be well prepared should disaster strike (because they've thought out and talked things through).

What do you think?

Do you agree or disagree with this idea of having a preferred relationship with time?  Do you see yourself in any of the above scenarios?  How about your partner, boss, family members, or bff..?

Would love to hear your thoughts.