Two Things to Try when Change is Needed
Apr 25, 2025
Do you get upset when you come close to winning or achieving something? If so, you are very much like an Olympic silver medalist! 🥈 Here’s why:
Silver medalists are generally frustrated because they think, "if only I had been a little better, I’d have won the gold."
Most Bronze medalists, however, were thrilled because they think, “I could have finished 4th place with nothing, but instead I’m on the podium and isn’t that awesome!!”
The takeaway is: Your perspective can change everything.
I suppose this mindset works for sports (or similar things) when results are easily measured. In the real world, however, things are much more subjective.
There are many factors at play when it comes to "winning" - and many are out of your control.
What if you did your very best, and still weren't recognized, valued, appreciated, or given the job, promotion, or acknowledgement?
I see this a lot with my clients. They are resilient, grateful, and patient beings. And they agree that "Your perspective can change everything".
And, this can be exhausting, especially when things don’t change.
I have a client who said they stayed in a job for 20 years waiting for something to change! 😵💫
Changing companies doesn't always help since "company culture" seems to be the same no matter where you go these days.
Something's gotta change, indeed. But what?
Two things come to mind:
1) Change your goal. Move away from focusing on getting the raise or promotion (because you can't control that), and focus instead on feeling more confident when going into that conversation with your boss.
Or instead of trying to change your partner (because you can't do that if we're being real), focus on creating your own happiness - and bring that to the relationship.
2) Move toward something that is more aligned with who you are and what you value in life.
Maybe that means leaving your current job.
Or leaving your current partner.
These last two are BIG moves.
But are you willing to stay in a place for 20 years just waiting for something - or someone - to create YOUR life?
I'd be curious to hear your thoughts.
If you are feeling like “something’s gotta change” and would like support in figuring out what that is, let’s chat.
PS Jerry Seinfeld has a great bit about “coming in second” - you can check it out here.
Sandy Swanson is a National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach (NBC-HWC), a Professional Certified Coach with the International Coach Federation (PCC), and an ADAPT Certified Functional Health Coach (A-CFHC). Click the button below to learn more about the services she offers.
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