The Responsive Stance of the Enneagram

Do you often find yourself waiting for others to make the first move?

Not just talking about asking someone out on a date (do people still do that??) or paying the bill when you go out to dinner with your friends!

If you are responsive to others and look to them often for support, you may be in the responsive stance of the Enneagram.

Last time we talked about the withdrawing stance.

Today let's look at the responsive (sometimes called the reactive, dependent, compliant, or dutiful) stance.

The Responsive Stance

This stance is made up of types 1,2, and 6 (the blue triangle above).

This stance moves towards people to get what they want (compared to the withdrawing stance moving away from people).

They can be very attuned to what's going on around them.

They move toward others for different reasons:

Type 1 can sense if something is wrong, out of place, or incorrect, and moves toward others to correct what's wrong and do what's right. 

Type 2 can sense if a person needs something, and move toward that person to look for praise by being helpful.

Type 6 has excellent intuition about their external world and will move towards others to be in a group that helps them feel safe.

These types may find it challenging to get out of "unproductive thinking" and can spiral into unhelpful thought patterns: 

Type 1 can overthink to the point of being perfectionistic and be super critical (of themselves and others).

Type 2 can forget themselves and their own needs because they are always thinking of others first (there's a reason why this type is sometimes referred to as "the helper" or "the giver"!)

Type 6 tends to overthink worst-case scenarios and what could go wrong (and forget what is already going well).

Note:  Many people of this stance are "verbal processors", meaning they think out loud.  If I have a client who talks a lot in a coaching session, 99% of the time they lead with Type 1,2, or 6!

 
The work for these types is to become conscious of unhelpful thinking patterns and connect more with themselves (not their thoughts).

Know someone with this type? Listen, listen, listen - and do NOT try to solve their problems.  Sometimes, talking it out is all that's needed!

(If you're not sure about this, ask:  "Do you just want to talk through something or would you like me to help you brainstorm possible solutions?")

Click here to learn about the Withdrawing Stance, and here to learn about the Independent Stance.

PS - If you are looking to find your Type, I invite you to schedule a Typing Interview with me!  Learn more here.